This is an update. A weekly one. Mostly because “I have to do my weekly” is fun to say.
It started out over at Havi’s chickens. It migrated over here.
You are welcome to join the fun down in the comments, if you’d like.
Weekly!
The Hard:
- I have this thing I desperately want to be working on all the time. I want to dive into it, make wild (metaphorical) love to it for several weeks, then come up for air with my gorgeous new thing! My life is not currently set up to support this type of workflow.
- My Monsters manufactured this entire situation in which I felt like my space, both physical and mental, was being invaded. And pretty much my biggest deepest core fear is of overwhelm, so it got ugly for a while.
- Too many ideas! (All pertaining to my thing) In my head! Wanting my attention! All the time!
- Scarlet’s going through another developmental leap/fussy period (they go together), and I’m still so exhausted from my trip that I really haven’t leveled up to the new her yet. It’s like twenty buttons got added, a few were removed, and all their labels were translated to Arabic. I’ll get it eventually, but in the meantime everything is more than a little baffling.
The Good:
- Ack! I can’t tell you about hardly any of it yet! (Soon, though. If it were up to me, I’d have finished this yesterday.) But let me just say that Haven is here, and Haven is surprising, and Haven is beautiful.
- Speaking of havens, I love my house so much. Coming back from our trip was divine. I have a teacher who says that how much you deserve is determined by the amount of gratitude you have. And I really hope he’s right, because I don’t feel like I deserve this house at all, but I have gratitude in spades.
- I have the sweetest best most accommodating husband ever. He was really helpful multiple times this week, but I am currently blown over with gratitude about how he’s helping me shift our schedule and agreements so I get time with my shiny new thing.
- Portland got sexy! Flowers EVERYWHERE! I mean, there’ve been flowers for weeks, but they were these delicate spring flowers against stark backdrops. Now there is vegetation in excess, everywhere, and no small part of it is flowers. Last year I was too sick to enjoy the spring and I moved here in May of the year before. So this is my first complete spring in Portland, and I am enjoying the heck out of myself.
- Remember when I wrote about relationship dreams and there was this feeling of spaciousness in relating that I hadn’t even realized I was desperately craving? This week, for about an hour, I got to that place.
- Silent Retreat helped me shed this layer of…something. Something like fear and rigidity around physically showing my emotions. I feel freer, act sillier and laugh more easily.
Responses
One of the important things about this is that it’s not shared in order to get advice or fixing. I’m receptive to people lighting candles for the hard and for soft excitement for the good.
You may also, as always, use this space to do some processing about your stuff.
Love and kisses,
Rhiannon
