Mousing the door.

Today was my first day at my new job.

And by “new job,” I mean “super sweet gig on a metaphorical pirate ship.” (Also: This pays in abundance, but not cash.)

Eventually, this website will tell you a lot more about all of this, but in the meantime, try here.

I was the doormouse, and I was experimenting with force fields and with the space-time continuum. I’ll tell you about that in a moment. First:

Let’s go back to yesterday

Yesterday was my one year anniversary with my gentleman friend. And my one year and two weeks anniversary with Portland.

As the weather turns, as my emotions turn, as I finish the third month of my pregnancy, I am stepping through a doorway.

A doorway into the next six months. Six months in which I’ll be standing watch as Pirate Crew, growing my own business, and finding a place for a baby to land.

But also, everything will be different. Because the next six months my job will be to radiate the qualities of Rally. Meaning I’m on Rally for the next six months!.

Fast forward back to today

Today I’m walking through that door. I took pictures.

(I had to hide some of the specifics, mostly because they were too boring. Sorry if that’s maddening to you. It would drive me nuts too.)

Entering and Exiting

I didn’t go too overboard with either of these. Just a nice simple ritual in and a ritual out.

Monsters

Whenever I got upset, I’d color a monster. (From the: Monster Manual and Coloring Book)

And once I’d colored it, the monster got to have its say. But because I’ve felt less comfortable in my logical mind since pregnancy, I experimented with using force fields to help the monsters instead of formally negotiating with them.

Even when I included qualities in the force fields, I didn’t try to match them to what the monster said; I just went with what felt good.

The final result is a neat multi-layer effect where I can squint my eyes to see the monster objections clearly or the force field and its qualities clearly.

This sleepy guy was scared about being out in the hall exposed and alone. He just wanted to curl up and take a nap.

I have him a force field with lots of little friends (you can see their eyes), beautiful flowers, supportive hands, and a flow of present time. He felt much better.

Oh! This poor sweet sweet little monster!

Still reeling from how hard things have been and very nervous about my excitement for upcoming goodness. I had to make his force field stronger three times. But in the end he felt safe.

And we couldn’t get through any day without the “Everyone Hates Me” Monster showing up (Hello! I run into you a lot!). This one’s particular flavor came from jobs with confusing requirements and hidden expectations.

He needed a lot of qualities I wouldn’t have expected to feel safe. Like timing, fun, passion, and truth.

Journalling

I just got a new journal, and was excited to start writing in it.

I’ve been wanting to do pregnancy art for a long time now. This is me in several years, full in the power of motherhood. (I have to believe it’s possible to feel something other than bumbling and afraid.)

Here’s this particular pregnancy: both the parts that have happened and how I imagine the rest.

That nasty tangle is the first trimester, opening up towards the end but with some really nasty storms there too. Then it goes into the smooth red second trimester. The third trimester is the blue river flowing through increasing grasses and flowers. (The flowers represent the parts of the baby’s personality that will start becoming evident.)

The swirling tunnel is the birth, and at the end there is the baby and me (and my hair/hands), the sun above us, and an orange cushion underneath for support and comfort. We’re out of our incubation, greeting the world.

Then I talked for a while with Future Me. I didn’t know how far in the future or what outward events in my life would mark the transformation, so I just asked for Me who’d crossed the next line.

Genius Ideas

In order to keep from getting distracted, whenever a genius idea popped up, I put it in the coral.

Bonus Pictures

I got a MamAmor Doll!  (This was a while ago.) She is my pregnancy mascot, because she can be pregnant, give birth, and breastfeed.

Her baby was earthside in this picture, but I’ve decided to have her pregnant for the rest of my pregnancy.

(Yes, I will probably also wear this same shirt for the rest of my pregnancy. Unless I find a new new favorite shirt.)

One more from today

Aaaaaand my gentleman friend dressed up and having fun! He was manning the galley, but did come to visit me at the door so I could pee.

(He was alone in the Playground for almost the whole time and I kept hearing mysterious thumps and yells. Including, once, “CHAAAAAARGE!” followed by running. He says he was “mostly working on a blog post.”)

THE END!

Comments more than welcome, remembering sovereignty and love.

May your day be filled with beauty and unlikeliness!

Mwah!
Rhiannon